Honoring My Favorite Veteran

In honor of Veterans Day coming up this weekend, I felt that it would be appropriate for me to talk about the most impactful Veteran in my own life.

My mom joined the Air Force right out of college.  She did ROTC at La Tech while she was also in a sorority, in the marching band, and winning intramural badminton championships. Not to mention she studied both art and geography (she also later got her Masters in Education).

That’s a Rhode’s Scholar type resume` (I know this because I once aspired to be a Rhode’s Scholar, but after I looked up the qualifications I decided it was too hard).  Men who’ve gone on to be Presidents of our country have had less on their resume`s coming out of college. I bet Barack’s name is not on any badminton championship trophies.  Furthermore, it is an absolute fact that my mom would wipe out the nations deficit if she had just 1 year in the White House.

If I had to use one word to describe Mom it would be, “strong.”

Those of you who know her can attest to her strong will.  She doesn’t quit when her mind is made up about something.

She is strong physically.  I have mentioned in a previous blog post that she has battled Rheumatoid Arthritis since she was 23 years old.  I hear stories about her playing her guitar Brazilian style when she was in college.  She played and sang in several weddings of her friends.  I remember her playing the guitar when I was young, but as time went on it was too hard on her hands.  Even though she doesn’t play the guitar anymore or play tennis or badminton anymore, she has never once been physically unable to do anything she wanted to do as a mother, school teacher, or homemaker.

My mom doesn’t make excuses.  She follows rules to the T.  She has always had our home in order.  She has always been there for me or my two brothers when we've needed her.  She is a rock.  She is unwaveringly true to her values and her love for our family. 

She is emotionally strong.  Mom has dealt with tragedies in her life since she was young.  Her father died when she was young.  As the oldest of three daughters, she took some of the responsibility of the family on herself.  I’m sure that in a home of 4 females, there were some intensely emotional times.  Maybe that’s why God gave her a home of 4 mostly drama free males to live with as an adult.

Finally, my mom’s love is strong.  I watched the movie “Act of Valor” the other day, and there is a part where a soldier jumps on a grenade to shield the rest of his squadron from the blast.  He sacrificed his own life in order to save 4 or 5 others.  His act of unselfishness reminded me of my mom’s love for our family. My dad sometimes says that he would think about it before he took a bullet for me, but my mom would never hesitate.  I know he is joking, but he is pointing out my mom’s uncompromised love for her sons.

As her child, I feel a little bit guilty for having her as a mother because I know she could’ve helped a lot more people if she would have instead chose to run for President or something. 

I would not be the man I am today if it had not been for my mom.  I will forever thank God for the strong woman who raised me. 

I know that this blog post could not even come close to honoring her the way she deserves (I just don’t have the resources to have a statue built yet), but it will have to do for now.

Mom, if you ever end up reading this (and I assume you probably will), I want you to know that you are an amazing woman.  You have overcome so much in your life.  You have and will continue to leave a legacy of strength and unconditional love in our family.

I love you Mom.

Happy Veterans Day.

Hurt Feelings, Religion and Politics (yikes, right?)

I sometimes click on the borderline over-the-top political (conservative) links that some of you post on social media.

The reason I click on them is because I want to see what people post in response to them. (it seems strange to me that I do this)

Politically, I am an Independent.  However, most of my social media “friends” are Republicans (or at least they are strongly conservative).  But I do also have some social media “friends” who are Democrats (or at least they are strongly liberal).

It seems that some conservatives think that liberals are the sinful scum of the earth.  It also seems that some liberals think that conservatives are the self-righteous scum of the earth.

These groups of “some” on both sides repulse me, so I don’t feel like I could belong in either party.  Of course, I am sure that someone thinks that I am some sort of scum of the earth as well.

Back to my original point about social media posts –

I read derogatory posts about “religious people” that actually hurt my feelings. 

It goes like this

> a conservative/evangelical posts border line over-the-top propaganda that sometimes (but not always) is derogatory toward liberals 

> liberals see it and are offended 

> liberals lash out at conservatives/evangelicals calling them all sorts of derogatory things, and many of these derogatory things involve Christianity 

> ALL of these things make me sad – the conservative/evangelical posts and the liberal posts.

But it’s really the Christian haters that upset me.

Time out:

-          I used to be one of the people who shunned words like “religion” and “Christianity,” (I was a “it’s not a religion, it’s a relationship” guy) because I was ashamed of the way “other people” who go to church and claim to be Christians were not truly sold out to the gospel.  That was an arrogant stance on my part, and I have felt convicted about that.  While I do not wish to be “religious” in the ways Pharisees or Scribes were religious, I am a religious person who is a Christian and loves Jesus.  I consider myself sold out, but the truth is – I probably misrepresent Christ just as much as the average “church goer.”

Ok, time in…

These posts that I read aren’t even directed specifically at me which makes me feel frustrated wthat I am offended by them instead of just blowing them off.

I typically use this blog to process my thoughts as I work thru something so here it goes:

My feelings are hurt because I feel like these insults are directed at the Most High God who is my Savior, Jesus Christ.

I am fairly open-minded about most everything (I say this with the realization that in reality I may be more close-minded than I think).

However, one thing that I choose to be unmovable on is the Most High God.

(I am also unmovable in my opinion that Kanye West is a moron and his music should somehow be destroyed forever and ever).

----So my feelings are hurt because my Savior who is the delight of my life is being misrepresented.

I’ve experienced reconciliation thru Jesus that has generated true passion in my life.

His unconditional love for me brings me to my knees.  His mercy overwhelms me.  His grace gives me peace and rest.  Even in my own struggles and irresponsibility, He runs out to meet me with a robe and a ring for my finger.  Not because He doesn’t care what I do, but because He cares that I am His.

When I feel shame and guilt, He welcomes me in to His presence like a child who was lost but now is found. Not because he delights in my sin, but because I am His – and His love makes me clean. 

He does not require me to clean up myself.  He took care of that for me, and my gratitude for that makes me give my best efforts to honor Him.  I don’t always get it right, but that doesn’t surprise Him.

So my hurt feelings are because Jesus is being rejected.

I do not remember the actual words that are posted about Christians or “religious people” being scum of the earth.

But the posts have gotten to be so hateful, it is not that much of a stretch for them to remind me of a crowd shouting, “CRUCIFY HIM!”

The Pursuit of Happiness ((Really?))

There is something about the celebration of July 4^th that just feels so right, doesn’t it?

I read the Declaration of Independence recently. It sparked some curious thoughts. (punny right?)

The pursuit of happiness is one of our “unalienable rights” as Americans.  

As a fan of the Dec of Ind, I typically swell with pride at the reading of our “unalienable rights” which are "endowed by our Creator." We all like the rebellious part of our country’s history though, don’t we?

The phrase “the pursuit of happiness,” however, leaves the reader with a feeling of ambiguity because the writers don’t define happiness or what the pursuit of it looks like.  

Although, if happiness was freedom from the British government and the pursuit of it was forming up ranks against red-coats or dumping crates of tea in Boston harbor – I would have been hesitant to write such things on papers that contained my signature too.

I’m getting off subject – so this is my on-ramp back to the highway of making my point.

I recently heard a friend talk about moving away from where they currently live as their pursuit of happiness. 

The basic belief that they were communicating was that happiness is waiting for them in a different place, and moving to that place is the pursuit of it.  

They mentioned their idea of why they felt it was important for them to move and their plan to enjoy that happiness in the new area; similar to the way Polly and I felt before our recent move.

However, my feelings have changed quite a bit in the past few days of thinking and reading.

Stay with me. This is my point:

My conviction is that happiness is not somewhere hiding and waiting for us to come find it. 

I think that when we engage in a quest to find/achieve/pursue happiness – we find idols of affection that may satisfy a want or need momentarily but eventually become unsatisfying. 

Sometimes the idol creates an even bigger hole of discontentment because of disappointment.

As hallowed as we consider the Dec of Ind. to be with it's entitlements - 

Truthfully, happiness and the pursuit of it have not been endowed to us by our Creator.

While the sentiment of "our Creator" is quaint following the desired entitlements of our heroic colonists, the ideology is not indicative of a correct understanding of God's character in scripture. 

While our Creator does desire for us to be happy -

True happiness is the result of a person understanding the laughably-serious irony that our Creator is in fact pursuing us.  

When we make this adjustment to our perspective, I believe that a smile of contentment will slowly spread over our entire lives.

It’s Alive!

Last week I was fortunate to have the opportunity to lead a group of some of our donors on a tour of several United Way affiliated agencies. 

We toured agencies that provide a wide range of services – from elderly care to day care, and from homeless shelters to after school programs.

It’s really quite astounding when I think about the range of services that our network of agencies provide.

The tour was a lot of fun because I was able to connect employees at a large company with the hands on work that is sustained by their donations.

However, I think the overall takeaway was the first-hand experience with the living and working organism that is the non-profit world in Shreveport-Bossier.

We all sometimes forget that while we are in our own world at work and at home, there are people and organizations in the trenches battling huge problems in our community.  It is amazing to go to some of these organizations and see people actually at work changing lives every day. 

I will admit that there are times when I get discouraged about what I do.  When all I see around me are huge social problems that seem to only grow larger, it does me good to go out and see work being done and lives being changed.

One of my goals in life is to change the world, and that is largely why I chose this job.  Days like the one last week keep me motivated to keep working hard because every time a person chooses to give to the United Way, not only have I helped change the world – but I’ve also helped that donor seize an opportunity to change the world. 

It’s important for me to remember that when I am out raising money, I’m not taking something from people – I’m giving them an opportunity to make a difference.

And I can do that with a clear conscience because I have seen first-hand that our network of agencies is alive and at work.

Cadillac Vices

I gotta confess some stuff man.

I've got vices.

Talking about some stuff I thought was in my past. 

Turns out I’ve relapsed.

 

Don't freak out.

I'm talking about desires for money, power, fame, respect, car, clothes, friends, status, and general balling abilities.

 Sometimes I will seriously jokingly say that I specialize in "general balling"

 But I'm no baller.  -  Just a dude.

 Yes, God made me unique - and there's some stuff I'm good at.

 But man I have been taking myself too seriously lately. 

 

I thought I was this dude who was done with material dreams and competing with my peers for status.

 Turns out I had just suppressed those desires for a while (by the grace of God).

 

When Polly and I moved to Shreveport, my mom and dad warned us that we could easily get caught up in a competitive culture that revolves around status.

 I was like, "I hear you, but nah not me.  I'm not about that stuff.  I turned down job offers for more money so I could work in non-profit."

 

PRIDE ALERT

 

While there’s truth to those things - my humility ironically became a source of pride. 

false-humility.   DISGUSTING.

 

Lately my thoughts have been CONSUMED with getting ahead.  I'm steady getting hung up with jealousy for my friends' pay-checks.

I'm a manipulator at heart, so I find myself scheming to leverage myself ahead of my peers.

 Being content with where I'm at is a thought that hasn't entered my mind in a while.  

 And I've got to be honest.  All these schemes and thoughts make me feel so sinful.

 I’ve known that it's wrong, but I've been suppressing truth - and buying into the lie that stuff (a house, an investment portfolio, a new car, traveling to cool spots, buying power, and a country club membership) will satisfy me.

All of this reminds me of how much I need Christ.  When I'm left to my own devices, I will be an idiot every time. 

 

Running from sin sucks, but it sucks in a really good way.  I get scared that my life is going to be so depressing if I don't obtain all of these things that I feel entitled to, but the reverse is true… If my life is about obtaining these things - what kind of life is that? What difference have I made?  I just gained man-made stuff.  Is that really a challenge?  Is that what God made me for?

I need God’s help to let go of things that aren’t as important as I make them out to be.

But I've got to be careful that letting go of the desire for status doesn't turn into prideful thoughts when I see people caught in the status race. (Because I'm just as sinful as the ones I pass judgment on).

 

The truth is that I feel least sinful when I put my face on the ground and tell God about how incredible He is and how I'm so grateful that Jesus has offered me salvation from myself.  I've got to constantly pray for God to purge me of sin.

 

I do believe that this is true joy - when I can utter that to live is Christ and to die (even without having had a bunch of cool stuff) would be the hugest come up.

Honoring My Favorite Veteran: The Legacy of Love

In honor of Veterans Day coming up this weekend, I felt that it would be appropriate for me to talk about the most impactful Veteran in my own life.

My mom joined the Air Force right out of college.  She did ROTC at La Tech while she was also in a sorority, in the marching band, and winning intramural badminton championships. Not to mention she studied both art and geography (she also later got her Masters in Education).

That’s a Rhode’s Scholar type resume` (I know this because I once aspired to be a Rhode’s Scholar, but after I looked up the qualifications I decided it was too hard).  Men who’ve gone on to be Presidents of our country have had less on their resume`s coming out of college. I bet Barack’s name is not on any badminton championship trophies.  Furthermore, it is an absolute fact that my mom would wipe out the nations deficit if she had just 1 year in the White House.

If I had to use one word to describe Mom it would be, “strong.”

Those of you who know her can attest to her strong will.  She doesn’t quit when her mind is made up about something.

She is strong physically.  I have mentioned in a previous blog post that she has battled Rheumatoid Arthritis since she was 23 years old.  I hear stories about her playing her guitar Brazilian style when she was in college.  She played and sang in several weddings of her friends.  I remember her playing the guitar when I was young, but as time went on it was too hard on her hands.  Even though she doesn’t play the guitar anymore or play tennis or badminton anymore, she has never once been physically unable to do anything she wanted to do as a mother, school teacher, or homemaker.

My mom doesn’t make excuses.  She follows rules to the T.  She has always had our home in order.  She has always been there for me or my two brothers when we’ve needed her.  She is a rock.  She is unwaveringly true to her values and her love for our family. 

She is emotionally strong.  Mom has dealt with tragedies in her life since she was young.  Her father died when she was young.  As the oldest of three daughters, she took some of the responsibility of the family on herself.  I’m sure that in a home of 4 females, there were some intensely emotional times.  Maybe that’s why God gave her a home of 4 mostly drama free males to live with as an adult.

Finally, my mom’s love is strong.  I watched the movie “Act of Valor” the other day, and there is a part where a soldier jumps on a grenade to shield the rest of his squadron from the blast.  He sacrificed his own life in order to save 4 or 5 others.  His act of unselfishness reminded me of my mom’s love for our family. My dad sometimes says that he would think about it before he took a bullet for me, but my mom would never hesitate.  I know he is joking, but he is pointing out my mom’s uncompromised love for her sons.

As her child, I feel a little bit guilty for having her as a mother because I know she could’ve helped a lot more people if she would have instead chose to run for President or something. 

I would not be the man I am today if it had not been for my mom.  I will forever thank God for the strong woman who raised me. 

I know that this blog post could not even come close to honoring her the way she deserves (I just don’t have the resources to have a statue built yet), but it will have to do for now.

Mom, if you ever end up reading this (and I assume you probably will), I want you to know that you are an amazing woman.  You have overcome so much in your life.  You have and will continue to leave a legacy of strength and unconditional love in our family.

I love you Mom.

 

Happy Veterans Day.

What is Haunting Andy Pendergrass? (2012. a short story)

When I was fueling my car up this morning, I decided to fuel my body as well – so I go inside the gas station for a Lo Carb Monster of course.

Well as I am on my way to the counter, I smell something incredible.

This delicious aroma was coming from the freshly stocked fried food shelf (I think I faintly heard my inner Jiminy Cricket groan “oh no say it aint so”).

So as I go completely conscience deaf, I’m seeing crispitos, egg rolls, butterflied shrimp, buffalo wings, and then there they were… freshly steaming Natchitoches meat pies (yes, NMPs).

Not the mini ones either-- Full Monty pies.

I couldn’t resist the steam coming off of those puppies.

Oh and that greasy sheen was so tantalizing.

I grabbed the best looking one in my little wax paper sleeve, and as I walked out into the briskly cool morning – that fried spicy pocket of meat melted in my mouth.

Now that will be a moment that I remember for a long time.

Yet as I spend the better part of my third hour on the toilet, I’m thinking that there will always be a little twinge of regret to go along with that memory.

So whenever this happens to you, don’t say I never told you about the how the gas station Natchitoches meat pie will haunt you for the rest of the day.

Happy Halloween.